During my early years tutoring for the SAT, I would often start the first session by joining the student in common criticism of the test. I would say something like, “I realize this test is awful, culturally biased, boring, and an overall irritation, but we have to get through it and do well, because it is what stands between you and the rest of your life (college).” I suppose I did this with the hope that I could form a bond with the student and validate his or her negative feelings toward the test and the test situation in general.
These days, however, I look back, and see that I was selling myself short and crippling the process before it even began. These days, I don’t say anything of the sort. These days, I ask the student what his or her feeling/attitude is toward the test and I don’t agree or disagree. I just listen and take it in as information. In my own mind, I no longer feel as I did in those early years. At this point, I’ve seen what kind of transformations are possible in working intensely over time with this test, and I am aligned with the process, 100%.
When a tutor has a vision that is wider and larger than the student’s own, this is the condition for inspiration to happen. When a tutor is always trying to be on the same level as the student (and of course, bonding with the student is imperative for the work to truly move forward), then the sessions might stagnate. Perhaps the student will like the tutor, will think the tutor is cool or nice or fun, but ultimately, this is not the point of the work. The point is not to simply raise the score a bit, but to truly challenge the way the student learns and open pathways to new ways of learning.
To find that proper balance between relating to the student and challenging/pushing him to move forward is where the art comes in to play. For each tutor this is a highly personal process.
